Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
