We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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