just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
