Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
