I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
