I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
