yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize