Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
