i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What happened to fro yo and sex?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
