I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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