his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you had me at cake vodka
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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