i already hear my dad disowning me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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