lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
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I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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