also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Quick, to the slutcave!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize