i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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