in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
