Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
