Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
