I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
