i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
