Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize