i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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