your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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