Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
