i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
