do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
