I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
