i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
