My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize