wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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