If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
