I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
