The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
