Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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