Can Purell be used as lube?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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