you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
