I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize