bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
