You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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