he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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