When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
are you so shy because you have an std?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
