I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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