Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
