Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
