xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
