It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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