i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
