Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
