so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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