I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
