Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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