happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
