ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
