I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
