Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
