Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
