just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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