found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
