for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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