I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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