awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
