What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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